Defining Beliefs for Success & Happiness.

Defining Beliefs for Success & HappinessHappiness Desitnation sign

By Dr. Lewis James Jordan PhD

www.JordanTherapy.com

Your core belief system is the foundation for success and happiness.  Any belief that does not work for you will show up in your life as a negative experience. You are the architect of your beliefs, what have you constructed for yourself?

 “As a man believes so is he” Proverbs 23:7

 “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed and say move,

that mountain shall surely move.” Matthew 21:21

Some core beliefs that might work for you:

  • I easily adapt to the new. I change and move with what works with ease. Do you resist or adapt to change? Having a fixed personality style leads you to live safe. But do you sacrifice happiness in the process? You survive, but do you thrive?
  • I have a purpose for life that brings me forward in happiness. Individualize this to fit who you believe yourself to be. For example, mine is – I am connected to life, both the observing (Individual) the (one) connected to and part of all, everything. I have a higher purpose as an individual to hope, dream, create, invent and learn as to understand, experience and connect with every (one).
  • I control what to belief about me and my beliefs support my happiness. No one, not your parents, your government your friends, family or God himself can make you believe anything you don’t want to. You invent Rules about wrong and right and if they don’t work for you, change them to ones that do work.
  • I treat myself in loving unconditional ways. You know your needs better than anyone else. Be loving and gentle with your thoughts to yourself and it flows easily onto others.
  • I take charge of my own destiny. I am in the driver’s seat of my life. The more responsibility you take for your life the more you have the control to direct it in ways you wish. Don’t give your power away to others.
  • I have faith and understand and know how to use it to get what I desire. I trust in the process of life, knowing that I can use my faith to succeed and achieve. Faith gets you through rough times and helps you persevere.
  • Change is an inevitable part of life. I value change for its own sake, I know that success is only possible if I embrace new ideas and new ways of doing things.
  • I am open to letting go of things that don’t work, for things that do work. Letting go of things you no longer need, thoughts that no longer serve you is important to living in the now, not the past. In the now you can change, in the past you are stuck.
  • I deserve to be truly happy. Remember, if you can think of someone who does not deserve to be happy, than they are defined by their behaviors and therefore you are too.  Your ability to believe in your own right to happiness is diminished when you are your behaviors because they are never going to be good enough for you, all the time. Deserving to be happy starts with loving yourself and others unconditionally.
  • I am already perfect just as I am. You are not your behaviors and not your body. You were born perfect, needing not to have to do or be anything to deserve love. What does a baby need to-do to be loved? What does a person need to do to be loved? Who decides who is perfect and by what measure? Each individual.

 Beliefs that do not support happiness

 Have you ever wondered if, “What I believe to be true about myself works for me or limits my joy and happiness?”  Think about the following common beliefs that undermine happiness.

 1. What others think about me determines my worth.

Some people define themselves based on how others define them. Interesting though, you are still the decision maker on how to define yourself.  You’re just deciding to give that power to someone else. However, what others think about you is often a reflection of what they think about themselves and therefore it’s not really about you. When you give your power over to others to define you, you will never be good-enough.

2. What happened to me long ago determines who I am today, and in the future.

Defining yourself by past behaviors or experiences keeps you stuck in the past. Remember, you feel your best when you are in the present moment. Laughter, Contentment all take place in the now. When you are your past you can never change it, it has already happened.  So, you again loose power but now not to a person but to a past event that has ended. When you define yourself by your past you are not in the present and you waste the gift of your current experience. Let go of the past and move into the present.

3. My decisions are controlled by a deity or something supernatural.

Some people believe that their status in life–or even there potential as a human being–is determined by luck, fate, divine intervention, spirit guides, past lives, psychics, etc.  This all-too-common belief robs such people of power and gives it up to something else. When you don’t have control of a situation, why bother to make a change. If the choice has already been made for you, then that gives you the relief from the fear of making a mistake.  But then, you have no power to control your own life – you have no choice.

4. I am ruled by my emotions and they indicate, by themselves, the reality.

Some people believe that their emotions are caused by external events and so they are also the cause of events. Although emotions are determined by how you perceive an event, combined with your beliefs you have already have formed about what those events mean, some people find it difficult to “get out of their own heads” and make there own choice. This is a way of avoiding choice and letting your emotions choose for you. Emotions are a guide, but not the determining factor of what to choose. When we take the responsibility to be emotionally reflective we are making the choice, not letting the emotion [itself] make the choice.

5. I am trying to be perfect or do something perfectly. 

Because perfection is unattainable and is an illusion behaviorally, the people who seek it are simply setting themselves up for disappointment and making themselves wrong as a successful perfectionist does-not-exist. Perfectionists give their power over to their behaviors and the world and therefore are victims to an unattainable goal.

 When thinking about your beliefs, ask yourself if they work for you, how they make you feel. Do they enrich your life, do they support a good feeling state. If not, change them! You made them up to begin with. Take responsibility for your beliefs and accept that when it comes to beliefs, you are your own god.

 Dr. Lewis James Jordan PhD

© 2012

www.JordanTherapy.com

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